Saturday, 11 August 2012

Moving sites

This site is currently moving to:

Go on the new site for more stories from the abyss of my imagination

Wednesday, 18 July 2012

Playful Inner Child Of Mine (A Poem)

She likes to play on the swings
Will run for ice cream,
Makes funny faces in pictures,
When I fall she cries a little.
Giggles at inappropriate times
On funny memories presses rewind.
I only let her show at certain times
If not surely I would loose my job and current life!
She could get me in so much trouble if she tried
But nevertheless I will always hold on to her tight,
This playful inner child of mine.

Sunday, 15 July 2012

Late Night Tears (A Poem)

I lay in bed
The sky is dark
The city is asleep
And I know nobody can see me
So let myself go
Push down my emotional walls.
I lay in bed
Chest heaving in pain
Tears pouring down my face
Treading a wet avalanche down my cheeks
Leaving traces of salt on my lips.
I lay in bed and because no one can see me
Late at night I let my pain show
Until a fitful sleep takes over
And then it's morning again
And I plaster a smile on my face
And wait until the night
To once again
Unleash my pain.

Saturday, 12 May 2012

I Will Survive (A Poem)

It grips ever so tight
It has me in a vice
Like a mouse
Caught by surprise
By a cat that was just lurking outside
Depression grips me and won't let go
A forced smile comes out wrong
Like my brain is not in control
Lead in my stomach is dragging me down
I'm in a vortex about to drown
But I don't give up
Force the wrong smile on
Force my brain in control
Roll my shoulders up
Puff my chest out
The lead won't drag me down
I swim against the tide
Determined to survive
Depression will not get the best of me
Because even a mouse caught by surprise
Can run and hide
And with this determination I carry on
Until the sun shines and I am not sad anymore

Saturday, 5 May 2012

Versatile Blogger Award

Stories from the abyss of my imagination has just been nominated for the Versatile Blogger Award, so a BIG thank you to Sania from Embracing Dawn!!!!
I really appreciate the nomination and I am super excited to nominate 15 blogs but i actually only have 3 new ones I enjoy, so here we go:


1. Embracing Dawn
2. Make-up by Bextacy
3. Short Motivational Stories

7 Facts about me:


1. I love to write
2. Cooking relaxes me
3. I am in LOVE with Galaxy Cookie Crumble
4. I am obsessed with make up and nail varnishes
5. I wish I could wear heels everyday but sadly I don't have the greatest sense of balance 
6. I have a beautiful black and white cat
7. One day I would like to own a black horse

If you're one of the nominated blogs above, here's what you need to do next:

-Thank the person who gave you the award
- Include a link to their blog
- Select 15 bloggers and nominate them for the Versatile Blogger Award
- Share 7 things about yourself in your post
- Include this set of rules in your post
- Inform your nominees

Tears (A Poem)

I feel them sting my eyes
As a lump starts to materialise
Deep in my throat
And my voice comes out as a croak.
My chest feels tight
And suddenly they flood my eyes,
Slowly caressing my cheeks,
To settle on my lips,
Only to fall again
As a sob escapes.
And once the first one has fallen
There is no going back,
So I let them fall and hope
That instead of years
My pain will be washed away by tears.

Sunday, 8 April 2012

Coming up!!!!!

Other Stories that I am writing:

Assassin in Love - Leah's story

I heard a knock at the door and I knew it would be him. I breathed in a long sigh before opening the door, to find I was right. He was standing there looking at me and even though I knew he was here to arrest me, I couldn't help but know that I loved him with all my being and I always would. My name is Leah and this is the story of how I became an assassin in love.

Also in the works is: Assassin in Love - Ivan's story

Saturday, 7 April 2012

Assassins in love - Kiara's story

Nobody ever said life was easy but I never thought I’d be standing here today, gun in my hand ready to pull the trigger to release the bullet that would kill my best-friend and save the one I loved…my name is Kiara and this is the story of how I became an assassin in love.

I have been always trained to be an assassin, as I am part of a family that is an elite group of hired assassins. Since I was a little girl I was taught to switch off my emotions and to never show my feelings to anybody no matter what. Feelings got you killed. That is my family’s motto and the mantra with which I was raised. Growing up everyone thought I looked the picture of innocence with my bright blue eyes and golden blonde hair, and by looking at me you would never be able to tell that I could kill a man twice my size with nothing but a switchblade. Although my family was made up of assassins they did have some kind of morals. And that was that under no circumstances are we allowed to kill before the age of 21. Something about emotional maturity. By the time my 21st birthday had arrived I had witnessed hundreds of murders and as sick as this sounds I was ready for my first kill.  I remember it like it was yesterday instead of 3 years ago. My target was a man, Mr. Bridgeton, no first name needed. 45 years old and CEO of a computer company. I posed as his new secretary and then one night I drove away from the office early, I then drove back in a different car and waited for him in the parking lot. I called out his name and stared into his eyes while I took his life with my favourite silver mini revolver. One bullet right in between his eyes was all it took. Then, without leaving a trace, I was gone even before his body hit the ground. In the 3 years that have passed since I have killed about 75 people, 10 of them with the aid of my best friend who is also my cousin, Leah. She looks more like an assassin than I do, with short dark hair and eyes so dark you would think there was nothing behind them, but knowing her since we were babies I can tell you that is not the case, she is actually very gentle when not working and dreams of having a family, as for me, kids and love mean nothing.  So how did I become an assassin in love you ask? Well the reason is called Christopher Matthews. He was a target that Leah and I were supposed to take care of so that his brother would inherit his father’s fortune, plus his life insurance. The £20million from his father’s insurance was supposed to be split into 2 between the two brothers. The multi-million company was also supposed to be split into two, but Christopher’s brother Carl had decided he didn’t want to share and also wanted a further £15million from his brother’s life insurance.

I remember the first time I saw Chris like it was yesterday. I was waiting to board the train I knew he would take to work and sure enough at 8o'clock sharp he walked onto the platform. Sandy brown hair and eyes as blue as the pacific ocean, wearing a designer cut black morning suit that did nothing to hide his lean muscular form, it was a breathtaking sight. I knew from his picture that he was good looking but nothing could have prepared me for the twinkle in his eyes and the air importance he exuded. I was mesmerised. He stood a couple of feet away from me on the platform just as the train approached and the sea of other black suited people came swarming forward trying to fill the train, I made sure I got on the same carriage as him and that I was standing in front of him. I looked up and smiled at him and when he smiled back I could have sworn my heart skipped a beat. His eyes were even more blue than I had previously realised and he had the smoothest skin, the way his hair fell over his eyes gave him an aura of casual relaxation while the rest of his attire looked impeccably formal, put together this ensemble made him look like a model for an modern business magazine, which I found ironic since he actually was a business man. Just as I was trying to catch my breath I felt myself being pushed forward and right into his body. This was not part of the plan but it seemed to work as he smiled at me again and caught me by the arm as I steadied myself and said my apology. The whole ride we stood like that without talking. When his stop came he looked at me one last time, smiled and said “see you later”.  I just stood there still in my little trance, when the doors closed, I dumped myself on the nearest vacant chair and put my head in hands. I had just met him and I liked him, a lot. This was bad. I wanted to get to know him not kill him. I didn’t want to, but I knew that I had to. It was my duty. That’s what I did. I killed targets. It was who I was and everything I knew.

That night I lay in bed wide awake trying to convince myself that it was just a stupid crush and that next time I saw Chris I would be able to breathe properly and I see him as just a target. I finally fell asleep sometimes during sunrise and when I woke up I felt exhausted. I got dressed and once again made my way to the terrain station where I would intercept Chris. I was a bundle of nerves, standing at the platform while trying to look relaxed. I was so focused on trying to not draw attention to myself that when I felt a tap on my shoulder I almost fly-kicked the culprit. But as I turned around I froze before I could even lift my leg. Chris was standing right in front of me with a smile on his face that faltered once he noticed my defensive posture and he lifted his hands in front of me palms outwards saying “I didn’t mean to startle you, I just wanted to say hi”, and that dazzling smile returned and so did my silly heart’s acrobatics.
“Hi” I said with more confidence than I felt. That had been part of the assassin training. Never show your surprise.
He put his hand out and said “Chris Matthews,”
I took his outstretched hand and trying to ignore the little goose-bumps his touch had caused I smiled “Kiara”. He repeated my name and with the vibrations of his masculine voice my name sounded like an opera masterpiece. At that moment the train approached and once again we were pushed in with the throng of others commuters, I asked him about himself and the whole train ride we chatted easily, him telling me what the files I had been given hadn’t, and me telling him about my “Free-lance beauty business”.  He seemed genuinely interested and I wished that I could be the person I was telling him I was.  Once he noticed that we were only 1 stop away from his destination he said “I’d really like to get to know you better, is there any way you would give me your number?” I smiled as I gave him my alias’s business card with my number on it, and said “look forward to hearing from you”  then with a thank you and a smile he was gone, and I was once again left standing there wondering what the hell was going on with my life. I waited for the next stop, walked out into the cold London air and hailed a cab to take me home, where I spent the rest of the day wracking my brain and trying to talk sense into myself until I gave up and decided to get lost in the latest crime novel I was reading, but try as I might I couldn’t concentrate on the words and Chris’s smile kept reappearing in my mind.  I made my way to my family’s headquarters and walked straight into the private gymnasium where I worked out until I could no longer feel my legs.
My mobile rang just as I was stepping out of the shower at around 9pm, and it was a number I didn’t recognize, but guessed to be Chris’s. I was right. “Hey I hope I didn’t disturb you” he said in that smooth knee-buckling voice of his, “not at all” I replied willing my heart to stop its silliness and calm down before I had a heart attack. I put the phone on loud speaker and chatted to Chris while I got ready for bed. I climbed under my duvet and switched off the loudspeaker and listened to his smooth voice telling me about his family.  He asked me to meet him for lunch the day after at 1:30 and we made the arrangements for it. His voice was so soothing I soon found my eyelids heavy and before I fell asleep I heard his chuckle over the phone and his voice bidding me a good night.
The next morning I climbed out of bed full of excitement and as I was walking around my flat singing “what a wonderful world” at the top of my lungs, I hear my buzzer go off. I opened the door to see Leah standing there and the reality of the situation hit me. I was going to lunch with a target. I was going on a date with a man that was as good as dead! Leah walked into my flat without noticing my horrified expression and started telling me about a guy she met and how much she liked him. I nodded at the right times and “awwwed” when I thought was necessary silently willing her to leave so that I could get ready. Finally she left at around 12 and I rushed to my room to get ready, I left my house exactly at 1, jumped in my car and made my way to the restaurant where I had agreed to meet Chris. I arrived with minutes to spare and Just as I walked into the restaurant Chris arrived punctual as always. We were walked to our table and I took in my surroundings as well as the mouth-watering smell of fresh pancakes.
“I never been anywhere like this” I told him
“It’s my favourite place…pancakes are my favourites” he said with a grin
I laughed and asked “so you come here often?”
“I try to as much as I can”
“So you can help me choose what to have?”
“Sure, are you going to be cautious and choose a fruit topped pancake or are you adventurous and are going to go for a savoury one?”
I smiled mischievously and said “adventure is my middle name”
He laughed and my heart melted, the cheerful waiter came and took our orders. As usual conversation flowed easily between the two of us while we waited for our food, and once it arrived I didn’t know how I could have never tasted something so delicious! We ate in a friendly silence and too soon the time came for him to make hi was back to the office. We walked out into the cold air and as he said goodbye he hugged me and promised to call me that night.  And as I watched his retreating figure I knew exactly what was going on in my life. I was in love with Christopher Matthews. I was well and truly screwed.
That night I lay awake in bed for hours thinking about what I could do, if anything. I knew that I couldn’t just call the job off and ruin my family’s name, but I also knew that I couldn’t let any come to Chris. I tossed and turned in my bed for hours, and fell asleep just as the first pale lights of dawn started to flirter through my curtains. I was awoken a few hours later by an insistent knock on my door, “I’m coming” I shouted at whoever it was and muttered “stupid morning people” I opened the door and was greeted by and angry scowl. My cousin Ivan’s scowl to be exact. He barged his way into my apartments and flung himself on my sofa.
“Who spat in your porridge?” I muttered,
“Save the jokes K. just tell me why you and my sister haven’t been doing your job”
That woke me right up and any thought of my bed was swept off my mind.
“I asked Leah how was the job and she said you guys haven’t done it yet. I need to know why. And you are going to tell me.”
“Things are just moving slowly, that’s all” I muttered avoiding eye contact.  Ivan stood up and with menace in his voice said “it’s because of him isn’t it?”
At that moment I honestly thought I was about to die. Ivan knew about Chris and he would surely kill him and then me or vice versa. I decide to play dumb just on the off chance I had it wrong.
“Who is he?” I asked pushing him away
“The guy Leah has been talking to every damn night. I know she’s seeing somebody, she’s been coming back late for a week and has been getting way too many expensive gifts. She tries to say they are from a friend but I am not stupid. So tell me, who is distracting her?”
“I don’t know” I answered honestly, I was truly confused and yet extremely relieved at the same time. Ivan gave me one last angry look before whispering “I won’t have anyone ruin the family name” and leaving my apartment slamming the door behind him. I released the breath I had been holding and started thinking the whole situation over. I remembered Leah telling me she had met somebody, but she didn’t tell me who. I would have remembered. I decided to confront her, so I got washed up and dressed and made my way to her apartment. I didn’t bother calling but thinking back maybe I should have, Leah was on the phone smiling when she opened the door and her smile froze when she saw me. “I…I have to go” she quickly told the caller and hung up. “I was just on my way out” she told me, “We need to talk. Ivan came to see me.” I told her she walked past me and swatted my comment away “don’t worry I got it” she said before running down the stairs.  Something wasn’t right. I decided to follow her jumped into my car trying hard to not let her notice me. I followed her all the way into town and watched her park just in the corner of Hyde Park. She was blowing me off for the park? No way. I got out of my car and looked around. And that’s when I saw her. Leah holding none other than Carl Matthews. Chris’s brother. The same man that hired us to kill my Chris.  And Leah was standing her smiling at him like he was God’s gift. And that’s when they kissed.

I couldn’t stop staring and yet part of me felt sick just looking. How could this be happening? Had the world started turning anti-clockwise or something? First I fall in love and now Leah is kissing a guy that wants to kill the person I love?! I forced myself to look away and I could feel myself flushing in rage. I jumped into my car and sped away ignoring the angry shouts of pedestrians and going WAY past the speed limit, in fact looking back I am surprised I am surprised I didn’t hit anything or got a ticket. I drove around aimlessly trying to calm myself down for hours, but it didn’t work, so I made my way home and once there I downed half a bottle of whisky in one go. I was still fuming. I went to my gym and took all of my anger out on my punching bag hitting it until it fell off its hinges in a pile of sand and rags, by the time that had happened I had calmed down a little bit and I could also feel a little tipsy, so I just dropped onto my bed, drunk and exhausted.
The next day I woke up with a terrible headache, and as I remembered the events of the previous day I became furious.  I jumped out of my bed, took a couple of painkillers, showered and walked out to make my way to Leah’s place to confront her. Then I walked back in and grabbed my sunglasses because the light was hurting my eyes. I drove over to her place and by the time I reached it I had sorted out my thoughts. I wouldn’t confront her; I would let her tell me. She was still my best friend and cousin; she wouldn’t hide this from me for long. When Leah opened the door she was smiles and giggles like everything was fine. After a couple of minutes of useless chit chat we settled on her sofa with mugs of coffee and I started trying to get her to open up.
“So yesterday you were in a rush. Where did you go?”
“I had to meet Ivan for lunch, you know how impatient he is” was her answer, what I heard was “lie lie lie, you know im lying to you”
But nevertheless I kept my cool. “So what did you guys eat?”
“I had a Cesar salad and he got steak as usual” she replied.
By now I had enough.
“You are lying” I stated simply. She looked at me with saucer like eyes. “I am not!” she said although to my ears it sounded quite weak.
I stood up, put my hands on my waist and asked, “So explain this. Ivan was at my place furious because we haven’t carried out the job yet a couple of minutes before I got here yesterday, so why were you rushing?”
“Ok I lied” she said and then smiled. “I was on a date”
“With who?”
“Carl Matthews” she said with a sigh and pure love shining in her eyes, “I love him K”
I had to sit down. “Leah why did you lie?”
“He asked me not to say anything; he didn’t want to affect the job”
I couldn’t take it anymore, I had to come clean.
“Leah, we can’t do the job”
Her tone turned to ice, “excuse me?”
I looked her in the eyes and for the first time expressed my feelings out loud. “Im in love with Chris, I wont let anyone harm him” we just sat there staring at each other until she broke the silence “but you don’t believe in love”
“I do now, I can’t explain it but I do”
“What are we going to do?”
“Give back the money.”
“Carl will understand”
I really hoped she was right. I made my way home as I was due to meet Chris for diner, the plan was for me to go to his office and then we would have made our way to the restaurant from there. I was so excited, as I slipped on my silk black dress, and heels. I plied my hair in a sophisticated bun and did my make up. I dabbed some perfume on my wrists and neck and I was ready to go. I got there with plenty of time to spare and sat in the waiting room until he finished his meeting.  He came out just as his secretary left the building, and smiled at me with those beautiful white teeth and that cute dimple in his left cheek, I smiled back and hugged him, it felt amazing to see him, and especially after all of the stresses I had been under that day. We walked into his office and my phone buzzed with a new message, it was from Leah: Im sorry but I have to do this job on my own, Carl needs me to. I hope you can forgive me.
I couldn’t believe my eyes, I knew that I had to get Chris out of there right at that moment, I grabbed his hand and ran towards the door, but in the next second the door was kicked in and Leah stood there with a gun in her hand pointed to Chris’s head, I pushed him behind the desk just as she pulled the trigger which hit the wall bend him, right where his head would have been. “Leah no!” I screamed, “I have to”, she replied with tears in her eyes, “for Carl she added in a whisper”.
I pulled out my own gun and aimed for her chest. “You as so much touch the trigger and I shoot. You know I will” I didn’t care anymore, all that mattered was Chris. He was still behind the desk, looking back and forth between us trying to comprehend what was happening, there I was standing here with a gun in my hand ready to pull the trigger to release the bullet that would kill my best-friend and save the one I loved, then I heard anodise in the corridor and that’s when we saw the figure walking in through the open doorway, holding a gun. It was Carl, pointing the gun at Chris’s chest. “Ready to die bro?” my eyes darted to Chris and what I saw next almost made me drop my gun in surprise. He had stood up and was holding a gun, aimed at his brother. “What did you do Carl?”
Carl gave a low chuckle, and explained. “I hired assassins, but then I notice that Blondie over there was looking at you with googly eyes” he said with a jerk of his head in my direction “I knew she wouldn’t do it, so I went to work on dear Leah. Poor dear Leah who thinks love is real was so easy to fool, I almost felt bad making her think I loved her. Almost but not quite” another chuckle. “Then tonight she came and told him she couldn’t do it, love was all that mattered. LOVE?!” he spat on the floor. “Love is nothing. All that matters is money, and now I am going to do what I hired these two idiots do in the first place. I guess it’s true what they say, if you want something done properly do it yourself” That’s when Leah spoke up, “you don’t love me?” she chocked out, with tears in her eyes filled with pain. Carl gave long laugh like somebody just told him a funny joke and swatted her comment away with the gun, “no silly, I was just using you to get the money, I thought maybe thinking I loved you would have motivated you, but no you couldn’t even do that, you just stood here with a gun and couldn’t do one simple thing. It doesn’t matter now though, you three are all going to die right here tonight and I will be rich. Everyone is going to think Blondie found you two together and in a fit of jealousy killed you both before shooting herself. How sad” he gave a false pout. “I wont let you hurt her” Chris said “Chris run, and let us take care of him” I told him. “No. I love you Kiara” he said and my heart melted “I love you too”
“EW please! Spare me the waterworks already. Love doesn’t exist. Now you all die” I will never forget the sound of the bullet being shot and the fear I felt as I closed my eyes ready for death to claim me, and then I heard a body drop. I opened my eyes not knowing what would hurt me most, to see Chris or Leah dead, but they were both standing there looking as shocked as me. We simultaneously looked at the doorway and found Ivan standing there with a gun in his hand and Carl’s limp body on the floor. Ivan’s gun was emitting a thin cloud of smoke as he walked over to Carl’s head and put a bullet in his brain to ensure that he was dead. “Nobody hurts my sister” he told the corpse. Leah sank to her knees crying that she was sorry and I knew she needed me; I touched Chris’s shoulder to give him comfort before crossing the room and holding her in my arms, while she sobbed. That night Chris drove me home and Leah stayed with me while Ivan cleaned up the office of any prints, got rid of the cctv cameras and made the whole thing look like a suicide attempt, before driving to my house and telling us how he had noticed Leah acting strange and decided to follow her to see what she was up to. Good thing he got there in time.
Six months later
I stood there in my white satin dress and my veil on my head, my stomach full of butterflies and a stupid smile on my face, Leah burst into the door, a vision in her hot pink bridesmaid dress and her short hair in curls around her shoulders. She ran in singing “here comes the bride” and I laughed at her silliness. She handed me my bouquet and told me it was time. We hugged and I told her I would always love her. Then she grabbed my hands and we walked out, in the sun. She walked in front of me leading the way pouring pink rose petals on the wooden walkway in the middle of the white sandy beach, and everyone stopped dancing. My father hugged me and then pushed me towards Chris who was chatting with his best man Ivan, both in classy black tuxedos and as the band told the partycomers to welcome the new happy couple before playing the first lines to “isn’t she lovely” I knew I was ready as I took the first step to what would be the rest of my life as Mrs Kiara Matthews.